Piper Applebee: The Little Boy with a Big Plan

When I awoke the next morning, my only objective was to pick up some food. I had left enough room in my pack to carry a few things with me. I had some money. It seemed like a lot of money to me at the time. $566. It had taken me years to accumulate. It was a tedious process of collecting it a few dollars at a time. I got $2-3 for a driveway shoveling. I got $5-10 for a lawn cutting. I got $1-2 for a dog walking. I got $10-20 for a babysitting. The girls in my neighborhood kind of hated me for that one, but it wasn’t my fault. The kids requested me, so I just obliged. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for a buck. There was leaf raking. One summer a man offered us a lot of money to dig a big hole in his back yard. He staked it out and told us he wanted eight feet deep and that he would pay $200 for the job. There were four of us and it took about a week. Then there was this other man who had a monster pile of wood. He paid us $100 to pull out all of the nails, put them in a five gallon bucket, and stack the lumber all nice and neat. It too collectively took us about a week. It was all time well spent.

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The Great Escape!

Well, since you’ve agreed to allow me to continue, I will do as promised and start at the beginning and work my way toward the present. In my first letter to you, I kind of put the cart before the horse. I said some things that weren’t always true or weren’t always the case. I just don’t want you to mistake any apparent inconsistency with what I’ve already told you to be evidence of a lie as I continue. There is a process, an evolution, if you will. I am using the term “evolution” in a good way, such as in the progression of my Faith, as opposed to the evil way the atheists and the scientists enjoy employing the term. Be assured, I am going to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

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You May Find Yourself Living in a Shotgun Shack

I am not going to beg for your pardon. However, I would like to thank you for granting me this opportunity to clear the air. Yes, I know your language. I understand the mechanics of your language. I can actually speak your language well. I can write your language well. I am actually more adept at using your language than most of the people you know. I am assuming, of course, that you know more learned people outside these prison walls than you do contained within.

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